my being single is dangerous.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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