saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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