i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize