Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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