Define "chronic" masturbator.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
