I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
