Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
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I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
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Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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