We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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