You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
