giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
