Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
