You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
