Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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