he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize