But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
