Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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