god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize