did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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