Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
