does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think I sprained my soul last night
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Two words: blizzard sex
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