I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
