I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
