WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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