one two three fourrrrnication!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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