I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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