i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
