I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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