She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
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I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
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Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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