hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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