I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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