is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
