I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
