You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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