Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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