mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
