He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
