I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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