He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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