So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
