i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
