..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
