She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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