So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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