god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
