these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I am available for nakedness
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
