just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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