I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Your dad touched me again.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
