I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
