I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize