Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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