how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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