You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
