I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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