do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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