i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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