people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
